We finally decorated the tree. Okay, Auntie Peggy finally finished our tree but it was while I was busy cooking a for a family dinner night. All the 'right' gifts were bought and wrapped and duly delivered.
All the family visited...we even hosted my Dad this year as our ranch style home was better suited to his ever increasing frailty.
I made and served two Thanksgiving dinners as well as Christmas and New Years. We changed up the Christmas 'tradition' a bit now that there are no more Santa believers.
Midnight mass followed by the gift opening marked the beginning of a new tradition.
....and we did all of this when what we really wanted to be doing was laying curled in our beds with the covers over our heads and hoping the phones would stop ringing. Depression, grief, anxiety, PTSD, SAD, menopause, and adolescence all ganged up on us at once and it sucked every last ounce of strength from us that it could. But we have been blessed with a loving family who came and propped us up and jobs that provide the benefits and income for us to seek the care and intervention of specialists. Together those helped us find the strength to get up and walk our way through the holidays!
We are walking a little stronger each day.
The dark is not quite so black. Not sure if we are just in a clearing or if we are on our way into the light? I suspect the first, especially since there is another adolescence racing towards us at a VERY high rate of speed.
But the family is still close and the specialists are on speed dial so I have to hope we will make the trek out into the valley on the other side of this mountain before long. Now to find the strength to take the tree down...sometime before Valentine's Day!!!!
Happy New Year!