Aching...

Dear readers and/or friends, No explanation is needed for my family members because they have been and continue to be our rock upon which we are leaning so this short post is directed to the rest of you. For a long while I have been working at keeping this blog an upbeat place where you can come on a regular basis to keep in touch with me and my family. There is going to be quite some periods of time in the next couple of weeks and months when I may be unnaturally quiet...a feat as only those who know me would verify! Five years ago Patrick lost one of his younger brothers to a sudden, massive heart attack. In the midst of his grief, Patrick suffered back to back blows of a severe work place injury requiring surgery and many months of physical therapy followed by a diagnosis of cancer. Now,and for the past year, he has had to watch his older brother fade and fail from colon cancer. Today he went for his weekly visit to find the family just returned from buying the grave. There is great comfort in their numbers as the other siblings gather round to support each other in these precious last days but my man is sleeping less and walking slower than usual....his aching heart weighs very heavy right now. Pardon my French but the timing sucks!! You see, just as Patrick could use every ounce of my support, I'm trying to navigate down a similar path. Today my sisters and I cleaned out my Mother's dining room and turned it into what will probably be her last bedroom. She has been fighting us tooth and nail for a couple of years now to remain in her second floor nest because it had become a point of pride for her that at her age she could still climb stairs. For more months than any of us really want to admit, she has barely been able to make it to the top and that was with several stops along the way to rest! Her strength has faded at an alarming rate of late. Every one of us has had several calls a piece to come and lift her from the floor where she had 'sat down to rest' but this past Monday evening into Tuesday morning she had six falls in less than twelve hours and one of them was a serious tumble all the way down the staircase from the second floor. Her guardian angel must have really been alert as she is only bruised! I've had a healthy case of the Catholic guilt of late since I alternate between being darn angry at her petulant, stubborn refusal to do anything to improve her health and/or strength and being panicky that this is my last bit of time with my mother and I should be cherishing her...not chiding her..... So tonight as my aching back tries to support my aching heart I ask for my friends to understand when the period between posts is great or the mood of the post is not so great. Don't worry for us as we both have big, strong families that bind and it will only be a matter of time before we march out the other side of this dark valley. I'd just like to know I can look forward to seeing some of your virtual smiling faces on the other side!!